I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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