I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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