He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize