so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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