so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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