Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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