just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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