tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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