Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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