benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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