as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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