you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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