Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
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