Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
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This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
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I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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