He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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