I wish my penis had an off switch
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize