Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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