i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
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He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize