You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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