Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
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ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
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Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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