I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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