First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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