have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just gargled with NyQuil
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize