Me too!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize