you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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