the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize