I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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