There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Sorry about my life...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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