I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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