Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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