Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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