dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize