So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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