i would punch a child for taco bell
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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