y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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