There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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