Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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