you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Everclear isn't food dammit
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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