i'm signing you up for texting rehab
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
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