soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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