She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize