I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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