he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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