ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize