he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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