I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize