do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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