so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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