you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
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Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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