Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (786): Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative. http://tfl.nu/wo1e
  Replies (12) Good night (1899) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/cp2f
  Replies (21) Good night (1072) Bad night (6901) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (623): Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough. http://tfl.nu/yln2
  Replies (120) Good night (7946) Bad night (1084) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword" http://tfl.nu/1vn8
  Replies (16) Good night (1233) Bad night (5695)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus. http://tfl.nu/iii0
  Replies (15) Good night (1370) Bad night (5172) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower. http://tfl.nu/0936
  Replies (11) Good night (3349) Bad night (1411) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin. http://tfl.nu/i4o4
  Replies (14) Good night (2253) Bad night (1682) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal. http://tfl.nu/c0z7
  Replies (12) Good night (3995) Bad night (822) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment http://tfl.nu/eaeq
  Replies (8) Good night (3246) Bad night (1031) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships. http://tfl.nu/i0ve
  Replies (18) Good night (1184) Bad night (3171) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night. http://tfl.nu/wvak
  Replies (9) Good night (4142) Bad night (606) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'? http://tfl.nu/4fhn
  Replies (18) Good night (1671) Bad night (678) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila http://tfl.nu/x7nj
  Replies (5) Good night (484) Bad night (1372) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex. http://tfl.nu/yx96
  Replies (2) Good night (757) Bad night (281) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole" http://tfl.nu/3q74
  Replies (21) Good night (466) Bad night (1855) Order T-Shirt

Randomize