and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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