I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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